Most Americans upon seeing a 15-second commercial for some new dirt-storm, four-wheeled, perhaps racing? or escaping? gaudy, kinda scary-lookin’, possibly Charlize Theron starring? summer blockbuster movie titled Mad Max: Fury Road, shouldn’t be blamed for sighing “Is this a Death Race thing?” or “More Fast and the Furious rip-offs huh?” Even I, upon just a brief Wikipedia browsing, realized I had much to learn about this Somewhat-peeved Maximilian.

For instance, there are already two sequels to the original Mad Max (1979): Mad Max 2: Road Warrior(1981)(presumably Weekend Warrior was taken) and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome(1985)(all-time great ’80s action movie title).  In addition, these are Australian films, not American films set in Australia but filmed in a place in Arizona that looks kinda like Australia.  American audiences slurped up these V8 movies and helped make them a lot of Dingos, or whatever they call money down there; nonetheless, they were shot in Australia, by an Australian director, with an Australian cast.

A clean-cut, unemotive Mel Gibson plays Max (Mel grew up in Westchester County, New York until the age of 12 when he moved to Sydney). That’s right, a baby-faced Mel, unaware of the evils of The Jews and presumably unenchanted with the violence of the Christ. Mel is so innocent looking in this film, that it’s almost hard to imagine him developing into the unhinged monster we see today. But in retrospect, his strangely aloof and sometimes awkward performance in this movie now seems like a red flag for ‘Insane Person Inside Syndrome.’

Nevertheless, I watched the very first Mad Max. And I must say, time has not done it any favors.  It didn’t do itself any favors either, with a meandering plot, seemingly disjointed scenes, chaotic pacing, and just fucking strange acting. I say strange acting because some of these scenes include such bizarre facial expressions that it’s hard for me to imagine a director allowing them if it wasn’t for some comedic or surreal effect. But by far the most egregiously improbable element of this movie is how everyone just willingly wears leather pants in the heat of the Australian Outback, I mean c’mon. The whole film felt like an uncomfortable acid trip inside of a Hot Wheels play-set. But I digress, I’m going to give you the viewer’s digest of this film, to spare you.

4:48 – Big surprise, the film starts off with a car chase. One of the Main Force Patrol (these are the good guys) aka The Police in dystopian Australia, spins out. Chubby cop kicks his fucked-up hood and tosses it on the ground in frustration, like a child. This is what I imagine parallel universe Dukes of Hazzard is like.They’re chasing a guy called “Nightrider” (no, not that Knight Rider) who is maniacally laughing as he drives with his pink-haired, Hot-Topic girlfriend alongside him.

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